I don’t know, but I’m just really sad. I have so much school work to do in two days, I don’t get to go on the school field trip because I’m failing two classes, and the teacher handing out Presidential Education Awards to our class said, “I don’t think these awards just show intellectual strength, it also shows how much effort and hard work you use”. Over half the class got one of the awards. Every single one of my friends got one. It just made me feel like I didn’t do any work, like I didn’t try hard enough. My mom is convinced that I’m not giving it my all, and that I’m fine with failing my grade. I just feel like nobody has faith in me, and even when I try my hardest I am nowhere close to being good enough. I wanted to cry during the assembly, and my eyes were all blurry, but I didn’t because my friends were so happy about their awards. I’m so tired and I want to go home but I can’t. I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep but I can’t.
I scratched my hand until it was bleeding, and nobody noticed.