Today is the last day of school. I was supposed to go to the park with the rest of my grade, but I have to stay and work. Which honestly, I’m completely fine with. Yeah, I wish I could go to the lake with my friends, but I want to pass my classes too. I have six (possibly nine, I don’t know if I passed some yet) math tests, two English tests, and a paper finish, edit, and rewrite. I’m staying until at least 4:00 after school too. i will be doing nothing but Geometry and Honors English literally ALL day. But then I get to go to The Fault In Our Stars, so it’s okay. Okay?
My poor sister had the story spoiled for her on Twitter. She was really REALLY mad. It was kind of funny, but I still felt bad. Having the ending spoiled for you is terrible
Now I have to go take geometry tests… Wish me luck!
I don’t know, but I’m just really sad. I have so much school work to do in two days, I don’t get to go on the school field trip because I’m failing two classes, and the teacher handing out Presidential Education Awards to our class said, “I don’t think these awards just show intellectual strength, it also shows how much effort and hard work you use”. Over half the class got one of the awards. Every single one of my friends got one. It just made me feel like I didn’t do any work, like I didn’t try hard enough. My mom is convinced that I’m not giving it my all, and that I’m fine with failing my grade. I just feel like nobody has faith in me, and even when I try my hardest I am nowhere close to being good enough. I wanted to cry during the assembly, and my eyes were all blurry, but I didn’t because my friends were so happy about their awards. I’m so tired and I want to go home but I can’t. I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep but I can’t.
I scratched my hand until it was bleeding, and nobody noticed.
In geometry, theres a boy who sits behind me. He is actually really nice, but he kicks my frickin chair all of the time and it is one of the most annoying things in the world. He doesn’t do it to be mean though, he just does it out of habit.
I also am failing two of my classes, and it just hit me really hard today for some reason. I’ve felt like crying but I can’t. I can’t in the middle of class.
Wearing a dress for the first time since I was seven, I actually feel kind of pretty. Still awkward and not drop dead gorgeous, but pretty. I actually don’t have to wear it for the whole day, but I think I’m going to. I’m nervous though, I don’t like being stared at, but the quiet, weird, tomboyish, “lesbian” girl going around in a dress with no known event will probably weird some people out. But I’m determined to see this through- no matter how embarrassed I get. Hopefully it goes well, and I don’t have a panic attack…
When people throw little rocks at your head on the bus? And you don’t know what to do so you just ignore it? And they are definitely aiming for your eye? And you don’t know who it is, you just hear a bunch of giggling in the back?
So, um. ,this is my first real attempt at any sort of serious blog. The only other attempt I have is my Tumblr, and thats more for me than anyone else.
So my name isn’t really Johanna, thats more of an alias. But throughout the internet, that’s what I’m known as. I live in the United States, and enjoy web browsing and looking at funny gifs.
Thats all there is too it, really. If theres any questions, just let me know